Frequently Unclear Questions

Select any question below to expand the answer.

Can I pay extra for less effort?

Absolutely. Our 'Premium Neglect' tier ensures that your project is handled with the absoult minium amount of focus required to technically exist.

Is the 'F' in your quality motto silent?

Only if you're reading it in a library. Otherwise, it is loud, proud, and carries the weight of every corner we've ever cut.

What happens if I'm actually satisfide with the sirvice?

we offer a 30-day 'Disappointment Guarantee.' If you accidentally find yourself happy with our work, we'll send a follow-up email that is slightly passive-aggressive to restore the balance.

Do you follow industry standerds?

We find that 'standards' are more like 'suggestions'-and we're good at ignoring suggestions.

Why is the site's mascot a cat picking a lock?

Because, like our business model, it's technically impressive but legally confusing.